Paddy Wagon

DUBLIN

The Paddy Wagon Experience

It's not every day you get to spend half of eternity in a Paddy Wagon! The Cliffs of Moher and Bunratty CastleTour was a very looooong day. The Cliffs were more than 200 kilometers from Dublin. Most of the drive was on narrow two lane, rough curvy roads with other tour buses trying to get to the same place...not to mention the tourists who drove their own cars.

The bus was large and we sat up high. The windows were large enough but the bus was completely full; the high backed seats made it hard to see out very well. As we filled up and finally rolled down O'Connell Street and crossed the river we felt pretty good to be taking this tour.

In a few blocks our driver pulled over to the curb and left the bus. He said he had to take care of something. We sat there for what seemed like an hour, but it was only 15 or 20 minutes. The cramped bus was not comfortable at all. The seats were so close that my knees were actually rubbing the back of the seat in front of me!

As we considered mutiny or hijacking, the driver returned and apologized for taking so long. Apparently he had to do some hostage negotiating on another bus. Twenty-one Italian tourists commandeered a Paddywagon tour bus and refused to get off. They ended up having to bring in a third bus to accommodate the Italians. (By the way, Italians are #2 on my list right behind the French).

We quickly discovered that Debby's seatback was broken and it wanted to remain in the recline mode! The driver said there was nothing he could do. As there were no other seats, she had to make the best of it.

In the beginning the perimeter heat, about knee level, felt pretty good . Then we warmed up. With 24 passengers in a space designed for 20, the indoor temperature began rising. The driver couldn't turn off the heat, that he would need to stop the bus and close the hot water valve, which he would so if he absolutely needed to. So we asked for cooling air to be turned on.

The driver told us the cool air control was located in the ceiling above our heads, that we only had to turn the dial. The problem was, the main air conditioning control up front was not blowing air, which meant we could not control something that wasn't there. Every time the driver let off the accelerator the air would start blowing cool. Problem was, we needed gas in order to go down the highway and up hills!

The bus had an emergency exit door in the ceiling in the middle of the hallway. After we got so hot we couldn't stand it, the driver said we could push on the emergency exit hatch and it would open a few inches and allow some fresh air in. A couple of girls tried opening it but couldn't. The driver said someone stronger needed to do it. So a burly guy from the back came up and tried. He couldn't do it either. After a while the driver pulled over, stopped the bus, and came back and popped the hatch like he knew what he was doing.

The burly guy soon came up the aisle and pulled the exit hatch half way down because it was blowing on him in the back. We all got hot again. We stopped at a rest station for a toilet break. As I left the bus I reopened the hatch. Later, back on the road again, the burly foreigner came back down the aisle and closed it again.

On our evening return trip the driver thought we needed some music. He had 3 CD's and played all of them very loudly! About dark when it started to rain, we discovered the windshield wipers didn't work. The driver stopped a couple of times to try to fix them but wasn't successful. To compensate, he had to slow down. That caused us to get back an hour later than scheduled. This was, the longest day ever!!

Yea! An extra hour on a hot, crowded bus!

Paddywagon Tours. Don't leave home without them!